Sometimes when all seems to be overwhelming, the speed of life, the long ‘to do’ lists, the strong feeling of not being able to catch up or not having enough time to do what we want to do, it is good to take a moment. By taking a moment, I mean really take it, stop!
I tried that this morning, where I just stopped and made a deal with my brain that we will get to think in a few minutes, but for now let’s just stop.
An amazing thing happened… I could feel so much more, hear more, see more, and a sense of gratitude overcame me. We already have too much by the simple fact of being able to realise it. Most of the time, we are our own slave drivers and if we could just let go for a moment and be kind to ourselves, we finally see that no matter how we paint the picture to ourselves about our lives, we do stand in our own patch of diamonds.
Never before have I felt so unsure about what the future holds as I do today. Every morning, a new story in the news stranger than the next, wold leadership try to force the strangest and lowest of standards as the new norm and the first signs of tremors as the future threatens to eradicate the past. Anyone not feeling this must be sleep walking through life and bouncing from distraction to escape. How did we get here and what will our children’s world look like?
When I examine my days carefully, looking for moments of peace, of clarity, of calm and reflective processes, I realize that almost always, these are moments of being alone. I remember in my early twenties when I went to India for the first time and tried out a month long silence, the most surprising result of that was the realization that we are never really alone. So much goes on in our minds and faculty when we are alone, that we find ourselves able to understand ourselves so much better and to stand under the reality of our situation at any given moment. A day spent without any ‘me’ time is a day not enjoyed fully. I do not exaggerate when I say that I rarely ever feel lonely when I am alone. There is a huge difference between the 2 states. What is loneliness really? Could it be the fear of getting to know ourselves? I love my own company and have loved it since I was a young child. This makes me value time with others in a different way and in turn makes me more selective of who I share time with. It is such a valuable commodity in a most certainly mortal life.
The next step we take, the next word we say, the next thought we harbor, the next bite we eat, these are the small choices we make but how small are they really? It is all connected, every road we take leads to the highway of our destiny, or not. In this maze we call life, what is it that guides our choices? That should be what concerns us not the choice itself, because in the end, what is our main motivator?
Some days it feels as though it is just impossible to catch up with all what we task ourselves to do. It seems as though time is standing there as a slave driver and a grim reaper screaming: “it’s later than you think”. On days like that I take a deep breath and remember that the sun also rises tomorrow.
Haven’t you ever had the strange revelation that something in you knows? It just knows. We often seek confirmation from others, we vainly attempt to disqualify the silent knowing within simply because we cannot trust it. But it knows…
Image taken today with the help of Lea, somewhere in Germany.
On a planet of over 7 billion people, we end up connecting with a minute fraction of humans throughout our lives. The parents we are born to, the family around us, the friends we make at school, the spouses we end up with and a handful of others along the way. Is any of it destined? Do events lead us to meet who we were meant to meet or is it all random? Do certain people sing our tune? Is chemistry involved? Are there invisible silver threads between us and a few others?
Another piece fo the fascinating puzzle we call human life…
I remember walking as a very young child in our small mountain village in Lebanon, and just as I passed the old movie theater that used to only play Indian tragedies, an English word popped in my head. At that time, English was quite foreign to me and my vocabulary was extremely limited, yet somehow an adult word appeared: “determined”. I never forgot that word and I only learned its meaning years later as a teenager. It was one of those strange life moments that are very difficult to explain. This little story brings me back always to ‘the way’, and for me there is a way that I know I need to follow if I listen carefully to the same nudging that introduced the word “determined” to me. And as with all good things, the way is never the easy one…